In the latest episode of “Cover Your Assets,” we sat down with Nancy Hetrick, CDFA® and Founder/CEO of the Divorce Financial Planner Training Center, to discuss the four stages of transition and how they play out when it comes to divorce. I was especially excited to speak with Nancy because she is my CDFA® coach!
To begin this Valentine’s-themed episode, Nancy shared her story of telling her husband that she wanted a divorce on Valentine’s Day. From there, we transitioned into the four stages of transition, which are:
Anticipation
Ending
Passage
New Normal
Anticipation is when you can sense that a change is coming, when you know that either you or your spouse are on the verge of moving toward separation and/or divorce. Ending is when you take action toward divorce by announcing to your spouse and filing with the courts.
We spent the majority of our conversation talking about the third stage, Passage. This period can be a time full of struggle, chaos and fear. You may feel overwhelmed and unable to find the mental space to make decisions. During this time, your mental state can be described either as a state of struggle or a state of flow. The more time passes, the more flow and less struggle you will experience.
Passage typically lasts two years before moving on to the final stage, New Normal. In New Normal, you are mostly in a state of flow. You’re resilient, consistent and excited about the future again.
We hope this episode will help you make sense of your divorce journey and give you hope that, while life may feel chaotic at the moment, the New Normal is waiting for you somewhere down the line!
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